As seen on Thrive Global on September 30, 2021.
For months I have been thinking about the deeper meaning – and possibility or potential of – the words abundance and worthiness. For me, these two words are intrinsically connected and I want them to play a more important role in my life.
I grew up in a white middle-class family in Germany. My parents owned a mid-size family business that was passed down from my mom’s parents. While we were not at all wealthy, we were very comfortable and had nothing to worry about. My parents, both born in 1930’s Germany, experienced horrible things during the Second World War which no doubt impacted their views of abundance and worthiness.
My dad, born in 1936, hardly ever spoke about his life during the war until he was in his eighties. I think it was too much for him. I heard the stories of how he fled at the age of eight and the number of times he faced death. My mom had a different trauma. Born in 1939, she grew up without her father, who was busy fighting in Norway. She was left alone at the hospital when she was a baby and of course, faced all the challenges war brings. My mom talked about it more often than my dad, but I got a real sense of it when I read her mother’s diary.
I don’t think that either one of my parents felt particularly worthy, but I dare say they both worked hard to change that. For example, my dad wasn’t very good with money. He would overspend in an attempt to treat himself to things he didn’t have when he grew up and easily fell into debt. He even managed to become a wealthy man at one point – only to lose it all later and die poor. By contrast, my mom is cautious with money. She is a saver, but when someone is in need or when she wants to treat herself to something nice, she will spend. Yet she will always have enough money to take care of herself. Both my parents are very emotional about money and their worthiness tied to it, even if it’s different for each of them.
As a middle child, I grew up very confused about my parents’ unspoken beliefs. I don’t think we ever talked about the concepts of abundance or worthiness. There were many arguments about how and when to spend money, fueled of course by their conscious and not-so-conscious beliefs and experiences, something I didn’t understand growing up.
By the time I was eight I had already formed my beliefs. It was clear to me that if one wanted to have more, one was to hold on to what one had. It was also clear to me that I needed to hold on to things because I wasn’t too smart. For decades I had little confidence in my ability to provide for myself, and it wasn’t until I was in my thirties that I realized I could.
My belief system and my unconscious brain were constantly telling me that I wasn’t worthy, that no matter how hard I worked it would never be good enough. I told myself that I didn’t deserve things, that I didn’t know how to make money or provide for myself. It took me years to be open and consider uplifting and positive beliefs, and even more years to rewire myself and create new beliefs about worthiness and abundance. Those were amazing years of change and growth: The more I dove into the unconscious part of my brain and healed the past, letting go of patterns that had shaped my childhood, the more I experienced worthiness and abundance on the outside.
I am happy to report that my life is now mostly rooted in worthiness and abundance. I know I still have some work to do – I consider myself a work in progress. I am learning to bring more abundance and worthiness into my physical being. So how do we create more abundance and worthiness in our lives?
Abundance and worthiness work hand in hand. Some believe that we must first feel worthy in order to have full abundance. Perhaps this is true, but these can be worked on simultaneously. As you work on feeling worthy, open yourself up to receive. Connect with the core inside, the part that talks to you, and tell it to feel just a little bit of worth. Open the doors that live inside you and let things come to you. You can support this gentle action with affirmations, including:
Each day I am opening myself to feeling worthy.
I am worthy no matter what.
I am worthy as I am.
Abundance and worthiness are part of my everyday life.
There are other tools you can use to manifest more abundance and worthiness in your life, including meditation, Neuro Emotional Coaching®, and free-form writing. BUT – and this is a big but – you need to be committed to the process and stay committed to it. It can get rocky at times, but I am telling you that it’s a worthwhile effort and will bring lasting change.
Not only will you feel differently about yourself, but you will also be able to manifest a whole different level of abundance in your life.