On this week’s podcast, I had the profound pleasure of speaking with Patty Elvey, a dedicated student of life, author, and holistic coach whose forty-plus years working with thought leaders and corporate visionaries provides the foundation for her transformative work. Our conversation centered on her debut book, Practicing the Art of Becoming, and explored themes of authenticity, honesty, risk-taking, and the lifelong journey of self-discovery.
The Journey to Writing: Thirty Years in the Making
When I asked Patty about her book, she shared that while she moved to California in 1997 with the intention of writing it, life had other plans. It took thirty years before she finally sat down and completed the manuscript in just a few months. As Patty explained, “Spirit was saying, no. You have so much more adventure in front of you, experience in front of you that really did modify what I would have written thirty years ago.” The wisdom gained through decades of learning, questioning, and experiencing made the writing process effortless, as she was simply sharing her own story without the need for research or proof.
The Power of Affirmations: Starting with “I Am Alive”
One of the most moving stories Patty shared was about her first encounter with affirmations during a training session. Despite having a successful career and active life, she sat frozen, unable to come up with a single positive word to claim about herself. After struggling through the exercise, she could only manage “I am alive.” Looking back, Patty recognized this moment as a breakthrough—a simple yet profound acknowledgment that opened something within her. This experience taught her the power of claiming something for herself authentically, without holds barred. Today, affirmations remain a cornerstone of her personal practice and coaching work.
Embracing Honesty: Being “One with What Is”
Throughout our conversation, Patty emphasized the importance of radical honesty—what her spiritual teacher called being “honest one with what is.” She explained that true honesty means constantly seeking what’s authentic in each moment, asking ourselves difficult questions: Am I pretending? Am I withholding? Am I denying? Patty shared that writing her book was itself a huge risk because it required stepping out from behind the scenes where she had spent her entire career. The more she practiced not hiding, not denying, and being as honest as possible—even when scary—the more freedom she discovered.
The Wisdom of Silence and Integrity
We explored an important nuance about honesty: sometimes the most authentic response is silence. Patty explained that just because we have awareness or knowledge doesn’t always mean it’s the right time or environment to share it. Recognizing when silence is appropriate while maintaining internal integrity represents a sophisticated form of honesty. As she noted, “There can be a lot communicated in silence,” and choosing not to speak can actually be more honest and integral than sharing prematurely.
Risk, Authenticity, and Becoming
The book’s subtitle—Embracing Risk and Discovering Your Authentic Being—perfectly captures Patty’s philosophy. She emphasized that becoming more authentic inevitably involves risk: the risk of being judged, of stepping into visibility, of claiming our truth. Yet she’s discovered that each time she takes that risk and steps forward authentically, she experiences greater freedom and alignment with her purpose. Her message to leaders is particularly powerful: when they discover more about what’s really going on in the depths of their interests, passions, and divine purpose, they become even better leaders, teachers, and learners.
The Ripple Effect: How One Chapter Changed a Fifty-Year Marriage
The impact of Patty’s book has been profound. She shared feedback about the chapter on lying that particularly moved her. One reader told her that after fifty years of marriage, he and his wife read that chapter and realized they had been telling themselves stories, making partial truths okay. They decided to recommit their marriage to complete honesty after five decades together. For Patty, this kind of feedback affirms that the book is doing exactly what it’s meant to do—opening conversations and serving people in their own unique journeys of becoming.
Key Takeaways
My conversation with Patty reinforced several valuable lessons for living authentically:
- Question everything and nurture what’s inside you—your curiosity, passions, and authentic self
- Practice radical honesty with yourself, even when it’s uncomfortable
- Use affirmations to claim positive truths about yourself
- Recognize that taking risks is essential to becoming more authentic
- Understand that silence can sometimes be the most honest response
- Create space for your own becoming—it’s a lifelong practice, not a destination
- Find freedom in vulnerability and stepping out from behind the curtain
The overall message is beautifully captured in Patty’s book-signing stamp: “Be you with love.” When we commit to being ourselves honestly and with love, we can’t go wrong. Patty’s journey reminds us that becoming our authentic selves is not a one-time achievement but an ongoing practice—an art that we refine throughout our lives, using every experience for learning, growth, and greater awareness.
Learn more about Patty:
Patty Elvey is a dedicated student of life using every experience for learning and greater awareness. Her 40+ years working with thought leaders and corporate visionaries, the likes of George Carlin and Arianna Huffington, spanning the industries of legal tech, quantum AI, media, and healthcare provides the foundation for her work uniting client’s professional goals with their personal passions. Patty’s uniquely holistic approach uncovers strengths and builds a roadmap for achieving their unrealized dreams. In her debut book, Practicing the Art of Becoming, Patty shares personal insights that inspired and ignited her journey of becoming. A longtime resident of Menlo Park, California, Patty now enjoys splitting her time between the East and West coasts.
